When you think of summer, you think of tropical vacations, sandy beaches, a nice tan and the fair coming into town! On that first summer day when you walk into the fair and the smell of popcorn, candy and underlying cow s**t from the livestock pens hits your nostrils, it invokes feelings of nostalgia and bam, you immediately feel like a kid again! That’s because for most people, summer isn’t officially summer without the sounds of questionable carnies yelling at you to play their obviously rigged coin toss game, or watching your life flash before your eyes as you whip through the air in a squeaky swing ride that’s probably only kinda sorta safe to ride.
It’s the fair experience that you can’t get anywhere else BUT the fair. And a big part of that experience is FAIR FOOD. The greasy, yummy, totally bad for you fair food that’s probably served on a stick. It’s food that would be inappropriate to eat anywhere else BUT the fair. A fried Snickers on a regular day? INSANITY! A fried Snickers at the fair? Order two with extra powdered sugar on top please. It’s your one chance to tell your diet to go to hell and go all out bananas (fried) about your food choices – so put on some shorts with elastic around the waist and aim for a different kind of beach body this year (softer and full of yum) with this list of the 10 craziest and most delicious foods ever fried at the fair (so you know exactly what to violate your face with this summer).
10. Krispy Kreme Chicken Sandwich
A what with a what sandwich? That’s exactly what I thought when I first saw the Krispy Kreme chicken sandwich being hawked at the fair. I’m a fairly adventurous eater when it comes to fair food but this combination of a fried chicken patty between two (jelly filled!) Krispy Kreme donuts just sounded … unnatural. I bought it anyway and to my surprise it was DELICIOUS. Just before the sweetness of two jelly filled donuts overwhelmed my taste buds, the savory, salty fried chicken jumped in and took it down a notch. If you love salty, tangy, and sweet combinations like I do, you’ll love this sandwich because it’s basically all that times a thousand.
9. Ribbon Fries
Okay, so we’re playing it fast and loose with the word “crazy” when describing this one because it’s definitely not the most creative thing ever fried, but you can’t go wrong with frying a potato. Fried ribboned potatoes at the fair are a thing of beauty and a giant step above regular ol’ French fries from a restaurant. Maybe because the portions are out of this world huge, or maybe it’s because it’s served on a stick, or maybe it’s all the toppings they offer to put on top of your ribbon potatoes like ranch, ketchup, hot sauce, and cheese, oh my! Or maybe it’s all those things plus the fact that you can’t go on a fried potato overload quite like this anywhere else but the fair.
8. Deep Fried Butter
When I heard about deep fried butter, I thought to myself, “well, that’s it … they’re officially running out of things to fry.” But deep fried butter isn’t as gross as it sounds. In fact, if you’ve ever slathered your biscuits in butter and had someone annoyingly say to you, “why don’t you have some biscuits with your butter?! Haha!” before you slapped them with a butter knife, then you should definitely consider having some deep fried butter on your next trip to the fair. It’s basically a deep fried biscuit with the convenience of having tons of melted butter already inside! Sayonara, butter knife!
7. Fry Dog
Texans were the first to witness this delicious hybrid of awesomeness welcoming them to the Texas State fair in 2014. Is it a hot dog? Is it a handful of fries? Good news! It’s both! Who doesn’t like a delicious hot dog with a side of fries? People whose tastebuds have been sanded down by quinoa seeds, that’s who! If you’re a normal person with a soul and healthy thriving tastebuds, you know hot dogs with a side of fries is one of the greatest meals ever. Take away the annoying plates and wrap those fried potatoes around the hot dog and serve it on stick. It becomes a meal that’s only fit for the fair (and a perfect fit for your mouth).
6. Deep Fried Klondike Bar
It seems like the best kind of fried fair food is the type that plays around with contradictions. Usually it’s salty sweet, but with the deep fried Klondike bar, it’s hot and it’s cold and it doesn’t seem possible, but hello! It’s the fair. Anything’s possible and one bite of a fried Klondike bar will immediately turn you into a believer. The hot, crunchy slash slightly sweet batter wrapped around melted chocolate and ice cream is basically a foodgasm just waiting to happen in your mouth. Yes it’ll probably be a mess. But quit being a baby and grab a bib, it’s worth it.
5. Deep Fried Cheddar Bacon Mashed Potatoes
Just like the fry dog, this fried cluster of awesome is fairly new to the fair scene and the lucky people of Minnesota were the first to put their lips upon this heart-stopping creation on a …(wait for it)…STICK! Fried pork? GOOD! Fried Cheese? SO GOOD! MASHED POTATOES? Holy s**t, just give it to us already! So if you happen to be in Minnesota this summer and you’re lucky enough to have a chance to shove this deliciousness in your face, loosen up your belt, unbutton your pants and don’t you dare pass it up.
4. Chocolate Tornado Potato
What in the actual f**k, Minnesota? Am I going to have to move there in the summer? Because this delectable abomination might be worth the trip. A fried salty potato spiral dipped in sweet delicious chocolate on a stick (of course)? Um. YES PLEASE. It’s the salty sweet food of everyone’s dreams and apparently everyone’s dreams can come true at the Minnesota fair. Well done, Minnesota. Well done. Now someone buy me a plane ticket there ASAP.
3. Deep Fried Sweet Tea
Deep frying drinks isn’t a new thing… there’s deep-fried Kool Aid, deep fried Coke, there’s even deep fried coffee. But those are all basically just different drinks that use the same batter and powdered sugar formula that ends up being kind of a snore to eat if you’ve already had it once. Leave it to the South to take fried drinks up a notch with deep fried sweet tea. No boring batter powdered sugar concoction, here. They blend the sweet tea into a custard filling, coat it with graham crackers, fry that baby up and slather sweet tea syrup all over it. The description alone is downright filthy.
2. Deep Fried Milk and Cookies on a Stick
When it comes to fried foods, nothing is off limits at the Texas State Fair, especially your favorite childhood snack. It doesn’t seem possible to fry up our beloved milk and cookies and impale it on a stick but Texas does exactly that by combining whole milk, half & half, heavy cream, sugar and cookies. They slow cook it into a creamy custard, chill it for six hours, slice it thin, cover it with Japanese bread crumbs and fry it up. It’s still your favorite childhood snack only it’s all grown up and obnoxiously delicious.
1. Fat Elvis On A Stick
In the early years, Elvis was known as a brooding rock and roll bad boy. In his later years however, Elvis was better known for his rotund figure and his insatiable appetite for outrageous snacks like fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches. The latter is usually the Elvis we don’t want to remember but the fair embraces the King in his later years the only way it knows how; by using his favorite snack as inspiration for The Fat Elvis on A stick. The Fat Elvis is a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup dipped in banana batter and deep fried. Make sure your glittery jumpsuit is extra stretchy when you eat these hunka-hunka burning heartburns on a stick.