So I have a secret. You know when you go to a zoo and the animals are in cages? Well, for the most part, it is not because the zookeepers are afraid that the animal is going to run away. Well, sometimes I suppose it is, it is not like they stay there on purpose, but for the most part the cages are there to keep the dangerous animals away from you, and to keep you away from them. But every once in a while someone does not get that, and they climb the cage or do something else that ensures that they have contact with the animal. Even after all the media attention about this over the years, there is still always someone dumb (or crazy) enough to keep on trying it.
Why do they do that? What possible reason would they have? Well, they are idiots. One would think that this would be a situation that people would stop doing, but nope, year after year more people jump in cages with animals and they get messed up. Some die, some get mauled, and sometimes the animals just throw hands and punk the people out. While it might not seem nice to call these people idiots, there really is not much else to say about it so we’re going to stick with that term.
What follows is a tale of people that messed with animals in a zoo and got messed up to varying degrees. Some were drunk, others were crazy, but all of them were super-dumb. Here they are then: 15 times idiots climbed the fence at the zoo.
15. Man Tries To Take Photo Of Tiger, Loses Arm
Sometimes people need a little reminder not to be so stupid. And what says “Hey you just made a really bad decision” quicker than having your arm ripped off by a lion and a tiger as well? I mean, talk about a good wake up call, right? That is if you survive it. Prakash Bezbaruah decided he needed a better angle for his photo so he went to an inner area of the Guwahati Zoo to get some better pictures. When a lion came over he put his arm in its mouth. Instagram that Prakash! Shortly afterward a male tiger appeared and helped the lion rip the guy’s arm off. Talk about teamwork! He died of his injuries. The lion and tiger were not put to death. As we all know, the paparazzi usually has it coming, although this might have been a tad extreme.
14. Woman Wants To Play With Polar Bear, Gets Mauled
All right, so this is a list of dumb people- there are no rocket scientists here. None. But with that said, some people are going to be dumb even for a list of dumb people. This woman is possibly that person. She was hanging out in the Berlin Zoo, looking at the polar bears and thinking just how totally cute they were when she decided to jump into the moat and swim out to them. I am not sure if she thought they would get on their hind legs and clap their paws and dance when they saw her, but that didn’t happen. What did happen, you ask? Well, they mauled her, of course. She was rescued and underwent surgery for the bear bites. It is unclear whether or not she went through surgery to give her a better brain than the one that made her think what she did was a good idea.
13. Man Is So Tired Of His Wife He Jumps In With Lions
Hey, we have all been there. Sometimes your wife or girlfriend is so irritating that you want to jump in the lion cage and get mauled by a whole bunch of lions. Well, okay, maybe we haven’t all been there. One guy has though. A man named Surya Narayan Das was so burnt out on his wife nagging him that that he jumped into the lion cage at the Nandankanan Zoo in India. Apparently he was looking to kill himself, because you know, lions and all that… He got numerous bite wounds to his head, neck, face, legs, and hands but he survived. I can’t even imagine what his wife had to say about that. I imagine if she was complaining before he jumped into a cage with lions then she probably was complaining a lot more afterward.
12. Two Dummies Visit A Friend At The Zoo At Night And Get Mauled by A Tiger
Trevor James Wearmouth and Thomas Anthony Bryce-Hart decided to go pull a prank on a friend of theirs who worked as a security guard at the Calgary Zoo. What a great idea right? What could go wrong? They climbed an 8-foot-tall barbed wire fence and decided to stop and pet a tiger. One of them climbed in the cage with the tiger. Surprisingly the tiger mauled him and dragged him around the cage. What a surprise, right? Who knew a tiger would do something like that. The man survived, and nothing was done to the tiger, since he didn’t really do anything to the interloper, even though he obviously had it coming. No word on what happened to their friend, who seems to be the world’s worst security guard.
11. Man Jumps From Monorail To Hang With Tigers
David M. Villalobos is not smart. I think that can be said with complete certainty. One day at the Bronx Zoo he jumped from a moving monorail into a tiger cage to be “with the tigers.” According to a report, Villalobos broke his ribs, his pelvis, and his wrist in the fall, but only got a few scratches from the tiger. When you think about it, the tiger probably wanted no part of this guy. He must have been like “Whoa, that dude just dropped in here from a monorail, I think I am going to keep my distance- that guy is obviously crazy.” Poor tiger, it is bad enough it is stuck in a cage in the Bronx Zoo, it has to deal with some lunatic jumping in his cage, too? Hopefully, Mr. Villalobos has figured out another way to be with the tigers that is not quite so insane.
10. Drunk Guy Gets Eaten By Bears
Sometimes quotes really hit things right on the head, and this is one of them. “Only an idiot would jump into the bear cage at the zoo” was the quote from Belgrade Zoo Director Vuk Bojovic when the following story occurred, and I have to say I agree with him. A 23-year-old Serbian man took off all his clothes and got in the cage with a couple of bears named Masha and Misha at the Belgrade Zoo. If you are guessing that booze was involved, well yes, yes it was. The guy was stinking drunk and had attended a beer festival that day. This one does not have quite as happy an ending as some others. The two bears killed this guy, of course, and also ate a bit of him. Because, you know, that is what bears do.
9. God Tells Man To Mess With Lion
Has God ever talked to you? Speaking for myself he has never bothered with chatting me up. But if he ever does so I hope he does not tell me to jump in a lion’s cage. Sadly for 22-year-old Lucas Tomas, he was not quite so lucky. According to him he was told by “voices of God,” to jump into the lions’ area at the Buenos Aires Zoo. The lions did not pay any attention to him at first so Tomas took off his coat and started waving it around one of the lions like he was a bullfighter. This had the desired effect and got the lion’s attention, and it held down Tomas and bit him until he was hit with a tranquilizer gun. There is no word on whether or not God continues to tell Tomas to do incredibly stupid things, and if so, if he continues to listen to them.
8. Drunk Woman Feeds Bear Her Fingers
Tracey Weiland, a 47-year-old woman, decided to do something that all of us have considered doing at least once. She got drunk and went to go feed the bears at the zoo. Okay, none of us have considered doing that. With good reason, because it is incredibly dumb. Anyway, she was at the Lincoln Park Zoo in Manitowoc, WI, when she decided to ignore all the signs that say things like “Don’t Feed the Bears” and went right up to them. The bears were not all that interested in the food that she was offering them, but they were interested in her as food. They promptly ate her fingers. This all went down at around 11:30 AM. Before noon might be a good time to get drunk, and it might be a good time to feed bears, but it is not a good time to do both at once.
7. Monkeys Steal Phone Then Beat Down Interloper
Sometimes your phone is really important to you. Sometimes it is so important that you will leap into a cage full of monkeys and battle it out with them. This guy may not be the dumbest of the bunch, after all he was tangling with some tiny monkey, and not an enormous bear or lion. Still though, he’s not smart, no doubt about that. A guy named Zheng Dong was taking pictures of monkeys at the Fuzhou Zoo in China when one of them grabbed his phone. Dong went off. (See what I did there?) He jumped the fence and battled it out with three monkeys until he was rescued by some zookeepers. His phone was ruined, his pride should have been, but instead he decided to sue the zoo for a replacement phone. Seriously?
6. Two Men Swim Across Moat To Greet Tiger, Only One Comes Back
Shiva the Destroyer is the kind of name for a tiger that you might tend to take seriously, but Prakesh Tiwari and Suresh Rai did not do so when they decided to swim across a moat at the Calcutta Zoo and place a garland around her neck. When Rai threw the garland around the tiger he was, of course, attacked. Tiwari did the heroic thing and stepped up and kicked Shiva in the face. What a tough guy! What a hero! Well, actually no. Shiva did what most tigers do when kicked in the face by a totally dumb human. She killed him. Rai survived. Which is cool enough, of course, it isn’t like people dying makes me happy, but still, going across a moat to put a garland around a tiger’s neck while your buddy kicks her in the face? Really?
5. Man Tries To Fight Lion With Kung Fu
Ellie Quo was an Australian man who considered himself quite an expert at Kung Fu. You may notice that I used the past tense there with the word “was.” No surprise ending here. His instructor told him that he had reached a place in his training where “you can kill wild animals with your bare hands.” So he did what anyone would do, he went to the Melbourne Zoo at night, sneaked in, and jumped in the pit with the lions. Of course, they all ripped him apart. I mean, these are lions! I honestly just really don’t get this kind of thing. Dude, you just jumped into a pit to attack a bunch of lions! What the heck kind of thought process is involved with something like that? He was found in the morning by zookeepers. Well, pieces of him were, anyway.
4. Man Fights Bear
A man at the Warsaw Zoo entered a bear enclosure and got in a fight with a female bear named Sabina. According to The Guardian “In one photo he had his right palm in the bear’s mouth. From other photos it appears the bear, a female named Sabina, tried to bite his arm and that the man hit the bear. It is not clear which happened first. However, the tabloid Fakt, citing witnesses, reported on Wednesday that it was the man who first attacked Sabina, hitting the 200kg (440lb) bear with his fists: “He survived only thanks to a miracle.” For all of you kids at home that might not be aware of this, getting in a fight with a bear is really incredibly dumb, not quite so dumb as trying to beat a lion with Kung Fu, but dumb nonetheless.
3. Trick Or Tiger
Here is another genius on parade. According to CNN, a woman was bitten on Halloween in 2015 at a Nebraska Zoo. Jacqueline Eide, 33, apparently evaded security to sneak into Omaha’s Henry Doorly Zoo on Halloween night. “Eide had made an unauthorized entry into the Zoo to pet a tiger. When she reached into the cage, she was bitten, causing severe trauma to her hand,” police said. So basically a drunk chick on Halloween stuck her hand in a tiger cage to pet it. If you have not been paying attention to this article, this is a really dumb thing to do. If you have been paying attention, it is still a dumb thing to do. Let us recap- don’t stick your hand in a tiger cage.
2. Suicidal Man Gets Lions Killed
While there are a lot of dummies in this article, this guy was so incredibly lame that he actually got two lions killed. A suicidal man in Chile got in a cage with some lions. Officials were forced to kill the lions to make sure that they did not kill this ridiculous idiot. “Due to the circumstances and to firstly protect the life of this person, we found ourselves obliged to apply all of our security protocols,” they said in a statement. So because this guy is so awful, the lions had to die. Interestingly enough, many of the animals in this story survived, because the people were so incredibly stupid there would be no reason to blame the animal for hurting them. These two lions were not so lucky.
1. 4-Year-Old Gets In Gorilla Enclosure
Of all the stories of this type, one stands out more than any others, as it sparked a national debate. We all know this story of course. A four-year-old sneaked past his mom and got into the gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati Zoo in 2016. It made news all over the world. He wound up hanging out with a 450-pound Silverback gorilla named Harambe. As we all know, the zoo ended up shooting the gorilla to protect the child. The gorilla was dragging the boy around the enclosure, some people thought that he was just trying to protect the kid, but police did not feel like they could take that chance. While it might be a tad harsh to call a 4-year-old an idiot, a lot of people felt more than comfortable saying those words about his mom.