So, you’ve moved in with your girlfriend. It’s great, for the first little while, until you begin to realize that things are not quite right. This isn’t a democracy anymore (it’s a Ricktatorship – okay, we kid). Anyway, as we were saying, you begin to notice your stuff mysteriously being moved to a different area of the house. You start to calculate the number of hours spent waiting on your girlfriend and when you put these numbers into the context of your entire life, you begin to seriously worry. We won’t spoil the rest of this list for you, but we know that these little annoyances are building. We know that you are officially annoyed AF.
Boyfriends: we hear you. We are here for you. We understand all of your live-in girlfriend problems (#liveingirlfriendproblems), which is precisely why we made this list. Think of it as a kind of camaraderie. Share this article with your bros. In fact, you may want to share it with your girlfriend too, so that she can take a little hint and not be so annoying anymore (we mean that in the nicest way possible).
16. When She Wears Your Clothes
There is an entire fashion trend right now that involves girls wearing “boyfriend” type of clothing, like oversized and high neck shirts. “Boyfriend jeans” is an actual thing. But that is besides the point. When you move in with your significant other, that means that your girlfriend is basically entitled to anything that you bring into the house. It’s an unspoken rule. If she feels like wearing your boxers or you t-shirts, you kind of can’t really say anything. You have to be prepared that she might spill things on them and that it just comes with the territory. She may even shrink them or your new shirt might end up with a bleach stain.
You know that law that kicks in when you get married? Something about how now everything is half hers, well, that kind of kicks in prior to marriage. When you think about it though, you probably think it’s at least a bit hot when she wears your t-shirt, right? We thought so.
15. When She Makes You Watch Reality TV
We just moved from #live-ingirlfriendproblems to #firstworldproblems. Your weekly scheduled programming is about to be ravaged. Your brain is about to shrink and you may even lose a few brain cells. In other words, don’t forget to pencil that weekly episode of The Bachelor into your scheduled programming once you move in with your girlfriend. We’re sure she probably loves reality TV, because (most) women do. And, since the two of you are living together now, she will probably want you to watch it with her. She may even expect that you don’t just vaguely pay attention from behind your computer screen but actually watch it. That’s if you’re unlucky: worst case scenario.
But, since you’re a good boyfriend, one of those Insta-worthy boyfriends, you watch her shows with her because you love her and want her to be happy. Okay, maybe you kind of like it.
Fun fact: it has been scientifically shown that consuming reality TV can, in a way, make you a little dumber. If you watch someone on reality TV do something really, really stupid, you are more likely to also act really, really stupid. Who knew?
14. When She Opens The Blinds And You Don’t Notice (And You’re Naked)
You are seriously concerned that the neighbors think you’re a nudist. And why wouldn’t they think that when they see this naked guy walking around his kitchen, doing his thing, until he notices the blinds are up (again), making a mad dash across the room to close them? You’ve been here, right? We thought so. Alright, sure, this isn’t exactly a classic problem but it is a problem all the same. After all, you really don’t want to be those neighbours.
But let’s be honest: we can probably all agree that this particular dilemma is just as hilarious as it is annoying, so perhaps it is time to chill a bit because according to the reliable AskMen.com, annoying habits can be a relationship killer if you let them build up over time. So just relax, okay? Go watch an episode of Games of Thrones or something.
13. When She Misplaces Her Keys Again (And You Become A Part Of It)
Your girlfriend has a habit of losing her keys and you are over it. Why do you have to always be a part of it? They’re not even your keys. And yet, as if you were in Groundhog Day yourself, your girlfriend loses her keys yet again and the inevitable panic then ensues. She drops an f-bomb. The dog cowers. You, briefly, reevaluate your relationship.
You are likely lacking any energy to summon yourself to actually partake in the game of hide and seek so you close your eyes and use your brain to think about where the keys could be. Meanwhile, your girlfriend goes on a wild goose chase around the house. “Are they in the pocket of that sweater you wore yesterday?” You ask. You’ve found them. You save the day from descending into chaos (not that you think you’re that awesome or anything – okay, maybe just a little bit).
12. The Opposing Toilet Seat Preferences
Your girlfriend has been on your case about leaving the toilet seat up for as long as you can remember, so now it’s time to get on hers. Makes perfect sense, right?
You know the drill: you stumble into the bathroom in the middle of the night, begin your business and then realize that you are making a mess all over the seat like you’re two again. In your mind, this is way worse than her complaining about falling in the toilet: now you have to actually clean up the mess. You trained your dog to not drink from the toilet, so your girlfriend should be able to catch on too, right? Sure, she hasn’t yet, but you believe in her (bless her). Potty training 101.
You begin thinking about how you can remedy this particular dilemma. You recall the term “positive reinforcement” from your first-year psych course. You begin “Project Potty Training.” You stock up on cookies.
13. When She Makes You Do All The Dirty Work
And not that kind of dirty work, if you catch our drift (wink wink). Actual dirty work: taking out the trash, killing any bugs that take up residence in your home, cleaning the dog’s business. Now that you’ve moved in together, there is an unspoken rule that you are in charge of these tasks. But why? You say to yourself, “Just because I’m a man?” You kind of think that the division of tasks is bit unfair. We understand, but you will just have to take it up with the missus.
Interestingly, a recent study found that women did way more housework, even after a full day of work. Men did three primary tasks – the trash, DIY and changing light bulbs while women did the remaining 36 household tasks – that’s right: women do 12 times as much as men!
10. When She Changes The Air Temperature
You’re both in bed, under the covers. You turn on the air conditioner, 24 degrees. You spoon your girlfriend and you both fall into a deep slumber. That is until it’s 2a.m and you wake up sweating profusely while your girlfriend sleeps peacefully beside you. You fumble around for the light on your phone, nearly blind yourself in the process, and check the air conditioner remote only to find that the setting has been changed. You’re officially annoyed. AF.
And here we have another classic situation where the woman is too cold and the man is at least a degree warmer. Bad news: it’s not going to get any better. Just think about when menopause finally descends upon her; winter is coming. Indeed, science proves that men and women feel temperature differently because of their differences in metabolic rate, so you are likely to be annoyed AF about this issue for a long time coming. For that, we do apologize.
9. When She Takes Up Too Much Space
When we think of #live-ingirlfriendproblems, taking up too much space is a classic problem. In fact, it almost seems like another stereotype. But we can guarantee that you have faced this problem yourself.
It goes like this: you don’t even have that much stuff to begin with, but yet, somehow, your girlfriend has managed to systematically take over each room of the house like she’s America. Okay, you can live without closet space. But when it comes to her bathroom takeover, on the other hand, it is becoming a bit of a problem. She’s got junk filling up every last inch of space, leaving you to pile your deodorant, cologne, electric razors and everything else on top of each other. You are over having to open the cupboard door with a precision that even you marvel at, lest everything fall out and land in the toilet. You’re probably already on your third razor of the month. You may even be considering putting Ebay on your list of easily accessible tabs because it’s just that bad. Or, you know, she takes up too much space in the bed. That is a problem, too.
8. When She Breaks Your Stuff
Once you move in with someone, you have to expect that some of your things may get a little damaged here and there. And it might not necessarily be from your dog, whom you love dearly. It may just be your very own girlfriend. It’s kind of the same process that happens once you have children. You know she doesn’t mean to, that it was just an accident, but can’t she just be a bit more considerate? You can’t help but get annoyed (AF) when she makes a crease in a book that she’s borrowed from you from your once very pristine collection. Sometimes, you may even think about all of those books and how beautiful they were in their youth. Or, maybe she puts a nice scratch in your Gibson guitar, or worse, your new car. You get the idea here. You are beginning to consider getting an insurance plan (okay, not really).
7. When She Moves Your Stuff Around
You never touch her stuff. Why would you? Yet, somehow, all of your things are always missing. You only have a few spots in the house that you have claimed as your own, like the side table on your side of the couch. You have the television remote, the air conditioning remote – you basically have all of the remotes – next to you, at all times. You protect those remotes with the same veracity that Brienne protects the Stark children. When they suddenly go missing, your blood pressure begins to rise and you are not impressed. You ask your girlfriend where the remote is. She doesn’t know. Your blood pressure rises again. You like knowing exactly where your things are at all times, like your jacket, that you hang up without fail on the back of the kitchen chair every day. It’s not that difficult, right? You may have to have a talk with your girlfriend.
6. You’re Always Waiting On Her
Again, we have a classic, almost stereotypical problem here. But, without a doubt, we know you’ve been here before. Not to make generalizations or anything. Your girlfriend says she’s ready to leave, so you put on your jacket, shoes and stand at the door. She says “5 minutes.” We know how this ends and it certainly isn’t with 5 minutes passing – or really even close. At all. One of the foremost questions on your mind is always, why does it take her an hour to get ready when it only takes you a few minutes? The most paradoxical thing is that she looks exactly the same when she comes out as she did when she went in.
And yet, even though you express your dissatisfaction each and every time – because you secretly think you’re Larry David – she acts like she’s a snail and never even tries to do anything about it. That may even be the more annoying part.
5. She Forgets To Pick Up Something You Asked For (But Remembers Everything On Her List)
How is it that you ask your girlfriend to pick up three things and she comes back with two? Even though it has happened so many times that it’s embarrassing, you still have not given up that she will manage to bring you the things you wanted. You would think that mathematically, eventually, it would work out in your favour, but yet it never does. The other part of this equation is not that she simply forgot the thing you wanted but that she remembered all the things she wanted. All the things. She is a marvel.
But, you can’t be too hard on her because you’re guilty of this a time or two yourself. She asked you to get some dark chocolate but you went with the milk chocolate. Idiot. You suppose you should just be happy that you have the perk of having someone get you anything at all.
4. When She Makes You Do Anything
If the scientific literature is to be believed, conflict over household chores is one of the most common reasons for breakups. In other words, proceed with caution when it comes to discussing this very delicate area with your significant other. It’s all about equality, y’all – which is great and all, but also equally annoying that now you’re expected to clean half of the house, when previously you used to clean almost never in your former glory days of being a bachelor. Not that we’re making generalizations or anything.
Everything was once well and merry until she put a broom in your hand or something like that. But now she has a constant list of demands, from opening up jars to taking the dog out to dealing with the garbage. It’s kind of like if you give a mouse a cookie. Once you give a mouse a cookie, it asks for a glass of milk.
Sure, you can think of many things you’d rather be doing, but she probably can too, so you put on on your dish gloves and carry on. You probably just like to complain a little bit. And that’s okay.
3. She Nags You A Lot More Than She Used To
The naggy girlfriend – is there anything worse? You can’t think of anything. She won’t stop reminding you about your clothes on the floor, about the beard hair clogging up the sink – you get the idea here. Naggy, nag, nag, nag, nag. You thought that you were living with your girlfriend – not your mother. Again, we have another classic problem here.
But you didn’t assume she’d think it was cute when you leave little globs of toothpaste in the sink forever, did you? Of course not. Now that the two of you live together, you are going to see her at the end of a long day and fact is that you are inevitably going to experience the wrath. It’s inescapable. Sorry to break it to you. But in the words of Cersei Lannister herself, “An unhappy wife is a wine merchant’s best friend,” – er.
2. When She Wakes Up On The Wrong Side Of The Bed
She walks down the stairs; you see the sour look on her face, a look that you immediately recognize and that sends all of the alarm bells off in your head. Your stomach sinks. You know you didn’t do anything wrong, so you go through the checklist with her to figure out if her grumpiness is going to be an all-day event. “Is it that time of the month?” you ask. No. “How much did you sleep last night?” Hardly any. Well, shit. You know you are in for a trainwreck of a day now. The kind of day where eating copious amounts of junk food is really the only remedy.
Live-in girlfriends have great perks and all; it’s basically like a perpetual sleepover with someone you find pretty cute and probably even love. But when she wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, your entire day is thrown off.
Note to all those who do not yet live with their significant others: prepare yourself for a direct increase in bad moods. No longer will you be able to cancel plans if she’s having an off day or be able to retreat back to your own apartment when a storm strikes.
1. When She Interrupts You While You’re Watching TV, Especially Game of Thrones
The mother of all offenses: when your girlfriend interrupts Game of Thrones, the show you look forward to all week. This offense will, without a doubt, make you reconsider whether or not you should make the change to actually just live alone altogether. Thrones before hoes, right?
You weigh the risk of watching it while she’s home, but because your restraint when it comes to instant gratification has never been great, you just.can’t.wait.any longer. You have to watch it now. And yet, without fail, she says something during the middle of it and it’s never, ever riveting. Ever. She either doesn’t notice the look of annoyance on your face or completely ignores it, but either way, it is annoying AF. The number of times you’ve had to rewind parts? Enraging. The worst part? Somehow, some way, she always manages to interrupt to you in the very last 2 minutes of the show. Sigh.